Sources of inspiration

One of the most frequently asked questions for writers is "Where do you get your ideas?" It's an annoying one because most writers out there don't know the answer to that. For me, it's not so much where I get my ideas but how I get my ideas.

This is going to sound completely sadistic, but I draw most of my inspiration from personal and emotional conflicts and crises. Let's face it -- a story that has no potential for conflict is boring. Stories with violent conflicts are all too predictable. But what happens when there is potential for emotional conflicts from within? I know first hand that those are unpredictable because nobody -- not even the person with the emotional conflict in question -- knows what is going to happen next.

My flagship work, "Wannabe," is derived precisely from that. The main character of Tracy has an emotional conflict that is about to be triggered by events going on around her. Tracy's life starts off as relatively controlled but quickly spirals out of control due to emotional conflicts leading to conflicts with everyone around her. Once that happens, Tracy has no clue what will happen next.

And when I was writing, neither did I.

I had a vague idea of where the story was going to go. But in general, I had no idea what was going to happen next. Everything was planned on the fly, until finally I gently directed the story to its conclusion. In retrospect, I actually wonder if I had any clue what I was doing.

However, I guess that's one way you know if you have written a decent story. Some people talk about a story that breathes and has a life of its own. "Wannabe" is an example of that because it really did have a life of its own during its writing. I was writing it but it kind of shaped itself as it went along.

This is going to sound weird, but I actually got to know Tracy better as the story went along, as well as every other character. I felt like Tracy could be real and she could be my best friend. I loved Tracy as much as I loved a real friend. By the time I got to the ending, I was literally in tears while typing because I knew it was all coming to an end and it was time to let go. It was like saying a final goodbye to a good friend.

That's how it feels to know that you have just created possibly your best work ever.

When I got word that someone was interested in taking the screenplay and turning it into an actual movie, I felt like my old friend was coming back for a visit. Tracy was still gone, but this movie is like her leaving a small parting gift for me before she disappears -- this time for good.

Tracy was inspired by my own experiences as well as the experiences of others, but I can't help but feel like she inspired me as well in some degree. I may have created her but in some ways, she gives me hope.